and then a sheer drop
Whose Child is This?, a story from the Citizen about a local couple who had to give up legal custody of their severely disabled baby last year in order to receive the sort of help with day-to-day life they needed to keep their family together.
“When Pénélope was three months old, they began to look for a home that specialized in caring for severely disabled children.
‘I felt like a complete failure, to tell you the truth,’ says Ms. Gavrel, who was exhausted and ineffective and failing. ‘I also worried I wanted to do this because I was not attached to her, because I couldn’t love her. It’s awfully hard to feel love when there is no rest, no help. I knew I had to find a way to love her, so I knew why I was really seeking help.’
They found a place on the outskirts of Ottawa that would provide 24-hour care, as well as expertise. The couple say they were advised by the home’s operator, and later the CAS, that to get Pénélope a bed they had to seek a ‘temporary custody’ order that would eventually lead to relinquishing parental rights.
It was a devastating blow.
‘She already had the worst birth imaginable. She was stillborn. And now to get proper care we have to give her away?’ asks Ms. Gavrel. ‘That’s like another death. This is just a horrific situation. There is a huge stigma to saying you can’t care for your child. I am a decent person and a good mother, but in the eyes of society I won’t be.’”
And then today, Man’s detention at Ottawa jail a ‘tragedy’:
“A 30-year-old man with Down syndrome and bipolar disorder has been housed in a segregated cell at the Ottawa-Carleton Detention Centre for more than two weeks, a case some say highlights a gap in the criminal justice system.
Karl Gauthier is charged with assault after an alleged incident last month involving a worker at his Nation Township group home. He is expected to remain at the jail until at least Wednesday, when he has a bail hearing.
Until he is released, Mr. Gauthier faces ‘horrific’ conditions at OCDC, according to Dave Lundy, an official with the Ontario Public Service Employees Union, which represents correctional officers at the jail.
‘The reports I have are that he’s standing in his own … urine,’ Mr. Lundy said, adding Mr. Gauthier soils his sheets and needs his diapers changed. Correctional officers are ‘not given the training to help an individual like that,’ Mr. Lundy said.
‘If you’re going to house a developmentally disabled individual such as that in a jail, what’s next?’”
Can you believe it?
I came home today to find a note in my son’s communication book from school, mentioning that one of his classmates had passed away over the weekend. I didn’t know the little girl very well and could only take an educated guess as to what her particular ‘special needs’ were, but she was of elementary-school age, entirely too young for her fate.
Lives lived by the profoundly disabled are more severe than they are special, and sometimes it’s difficult to keep strong, even when you have no choice but to do so.